Bradley (downgrade) wrote,
Bradley
downgrade

This tour has been one of the strangest of my life. Shitty shows, us wondering why the fuck we're doing this, and then coming to terms with it and having fun the best we can. We laugh at ourselves and our surroundings because we realize that anything else would just be counter-productive and suicidal. The stories have been absurd. A vulture smashing our windshield to fucking smithereens, crashing a party that ultimately consisted entirely of characters from Disneyland, befriending L. Ron Hubbard's grandson and supposed reincarnate. Seeing Shaq outside a hotel, wearing a shitty hat. Jumping off huge cliffs into a watery cove, and all 12 of us toeing the line with rattlesnakes and death as we hike out of a canyon. I'm actually surprised no one got hurt, and not surprised with the notion that none of us ever really questioned the danger of what we were doing. Head down, feet forward. Have cool, will follow.

The companionship is what excites me most. The teamwork it takes to make worthwhile things happen. Helping each other because that's what will make it fun for everyone. Going to cities and hanging out with friends who you just want to hug and say "it's so good to see you" in every moment of silence, even if it wouldn't fly. When the 6 of us in the van together really connect on levels beyond friendship.

Yeah, it comes at a price. We're fucking broke, and turn away from chances to make money the classic way. We miss our girlfriends and friends and city. We can't function as normal lovers, family members, or human beings.

It's the highs and lows. It's when someone's having a quiet day and you wonder if they want to throw in the towel. It's when you talk about a future you weren't even sure was an option. I've grown from this. I've developed this new sense of allowing myself to just go with it, whatever happens. We will traverse it all for as long as we can. Not really for fame, not really for money, but because most of what's available in the world is not ours, and we want to rise above it. Because that's fun. Because it will allow us to keep going. Because as long as we have that excuse behind us, we can never be wrong.

Head down, feet forward.
Have cool, will follow.
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